Eat my shorts!
Oh, thank goodness! This is my Gratitude Three Six Five blog, and you may be aware that there are actually three hundred and sixty six days this year because of the very rare and lovely 29th February. And so today, being that cheeky little unexpected extra day of the year, is officially the 366th day of 2012 and I have been gifted with one day on which I don't have to be grateful.
Well...what a bloody relief! What a bloody relief, because sometimes things aren't wonderful. Sometimes things just suck and you get a flat tyre or a bung knee or an annoying visitor or ten days of PMT. And sometimes you just wanna go Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr because you've got a headache splintering through your brain and because you can't be with the one you want, and because you burnt the toast!
So today I'm gonna be on cloud minus nine. I'm gonna sweat the small stuff! I'm going to cry over spilt milk! And there's not a god damn thing you can do about it!!! It's okay to have a whinge, to spread some misery, to bring a dark cloud full of steaming piss over the world and to NOT BE GRATEFUL! Do you have a problem with that?! Do you?! Coz quite frankly, if you do, then lets take it outside. Let's fight it out. I will take you down! I AM taking no for an answer!
The weather today is depressingly foul and the heel of my shoe has come loose and is flapping around, trying to trip me up. If I fall flat on my face, some shoe salesman will pay! Who can I sue, god damn it?! Bring them to me now because I'm not grateful for these shoes! I've put on three kilos and and that's also flapping around me (and is not quite tripping me over but if I continue to be the lazy, snorting SOW that I have been then it soon will be). Get out of my way!!! Because I'm not grateful today, no! NOT GRATEFUL! Got it?! I have backache and the labour party are a pain in the neck and my computer's doing my head in and life is like a box of schlock!
Today: Give me road rage! Give me road rage beacuse I'm not grateful for roads or cars or people with personalities! Give me pain! Give me pain because I'm not grateful for feelings! Give me complaints! Give me complaints because I'm not grateful for opinions or assertiveness skills or rights! Dear Gratitude, dear schmatitude! Give me poor attitude. I'll take it. I'll take it alright! I'll take it lying down and I'll eat it and choke on it! Dear Pollyanna, you're a fake! Dear Glass, you have ALWAYS been half empty!
Today I don't have to be grateful for anything and I'm so grateful for that!
jojobee
Make sure you really do have a four years worth whinge
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